To live, to be, to exsist. That is all any human wants. There are always times when we feel as though we aren’t even breathing, as if we don’t matter. The truth is, you do. YOU were made to do so many great things with the wonderful being that YOU are. YOUR smile, YOUR presence is as needed as the sun in the sky. YOU are loved. No matter what day you’ve had, no matter the way that someone has treated you; pay it no mind. The day, or that individual did not realize what a precious light that has been brought into this realm. Never give up, there is still so much left to fight for.
I’d like to think of myself as a sort of book. A book that you can lose yourself completely in, with just a turn of the page. One that is never ending, with so many twists, turns, and ever flowing emotion that just drags you into the depths of the fantasy.
To many who personally know me, I am a bit of a daydreamer and I have been told that I do live in some sort of fantasy realm; & yes I do.
In my realm I am the hero. The one that is saving others, but somehow manages to save herself in the process. I am a traveler, never weary for home for I always seem to find the right place to let my adventurous soul lie. I am everything, and yet nothing at all. I am writing endlessly of whatever creature or character who bravely steps into my world.
In this world, I feel no pain or worry; only the triumph of making it through the day.
I am finally in control of something enjoyable. Something I can see myself in for the rest of my existence. To be free of the constraints I have forever confined myself to.
That is my fantasy, letting myself go. Go to a place never seen, nor heard of. A dream that I find myself dreaming all too often.
The truth is, this world isn’t real. I know that. It’s something of my own design, and I am the architect of its destruction. An immaterial object that will never see the light of day; until I write.
When I write, the words come alive like a match to a flame. Words scrawl across the page, dancing waiting for whatever is next to come. Lately, this liveliness has seem to have left me; ever so slowly.
I cannot be forced into a category of one’s design. I am my own category. Maybe that is why the passion inside my heart is threatening to die; that once bright light slowly fading away further away from me.
It’s frightening to lose that drive the one that carried you far away.
cannot lose it. I will not.
I am the writer of my own story, and it is very far from ending.
Ignorance is bliss, or so they say. Being blissfully unaware of the people you trust, never knowing the truth to the lies they share. The bliss is slowly turning into a reality for me.
One of the most beautiful things about being with the one you love are the moments that you hold each other, & even in complete silence, the sound of his heartbeat is the most beautiful song to ever come across your ears.
Has anyone just looked at their blog & been like, “look at this marvelous empire I have created …”
I has new hair you guys (: hair cut-salon ; color done by mom :3
& amazing photo session with my hubby! :D love love love !
This is my face, Tumblr folk. Do not be alarmed wild Pandas appear frequently(:
Giving up, foreseeing the path ahead.
Fills my heart with an ache, a feeling of dread.
Consuming myself from the inside out,
My inner demons open their mouths, a deafening shout.
Trying to wear a smile, my patience wearing thin.
Losing a battle, I know I will never win.
Truth be told I am a dreamer,
Is this a reality I do not see?
When can I just feel safe with just being me?
Questions unanswered, silent mouths remain.
Stitching the smile onto the pretty face,
Don’t let me frown!
How many people will I eventually let down?
I fall, I stand, & fall again.
This is the pattern I begin.
I have to get out, there has to be a light at the end.
I keep writing these letters, in hope somehow, someway they will send.
Somehow believing that there is something left inside that I can mend.
Today is a day of reflection as well as hope. I know to many of you, this just seems like any other day. No. Today is THE day. You are alive. You are well. You are a blessing to so many around you. WAKE UP.
I hear so many people complain about how lonely they feel. ( I, too am guilty of this, I get lonely when I am away from my other half.) But the truth is, things could be so much worse. Just when you think that your world is crumbling, it is being built back up again by the people you choose to surround yourself with that love you dearly.
Life makes love, and so many other things look extremely difficult. Trust me. It is only as difficult as you make it. We all have a story behind us. Something that written long ago that shaped you into the individual you are today. You can make it positive, be a strong example for others, or you can choose the other path. The one of self pity, & the “why does this happen to me?”
Sure, all of us could choose to walk through life with a rain cloud hovering over our heads, but why bring the rain to ruin someone else’s sunshine? Do you really want to be that person?
Let me end by saying there is no “1 up pain game” in life. You could be doing so many other things, besides wallowing in your pit of pity.
Be strong, & carry on.
You never know true strength until it is needed. Who knows? You may need to be that shoulder for someone one day. Can you be that person & forget your own worries, & be that shoulder?
Life isn’t about harboring your pain, it is about letting it go.
<3 you all! & have an amazingly blessed weekend, no matter the outcome. :]
& who could ever forget this awesome lady? (: